Category Archives: General Musings

Light Pollution is a Thing–If Stars Could Talk

We used to be worshiped. And not just by lovers. Nobody can see us now because of all their inappropriate artificial lights. 

Don’t humans know that wildlife is also negatively affected? Their own sleep too. It serves them right they can’t sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star to their babies anymore. 

If you listen carefully you can hear the North Star lamenting, “Oh, we’re twinkling, but you can’t see us because of your own stupid lights.”

Thanks to their inventions there’s no looking up to see glorious starry nights anymore.

Humans can still see the Milky Way though. 

In a book.

Celebrate Yourself…Keep Swimming, Refuse to Sink

When I was a teacher, I gave my high school juniors an assignment to make a collection of poems in different categories as a part of an introduction to poetry unit. Two of the ten poems were to be original, and the rest they were required to gather from books by other authors. The students had to thoughtfully comment on each of the poems, including the two they wrote themselves. One of those original poems had to be a poem that celebrates who they are. This was to be a spin-off of Walt Whitman’s “I Celebrate Myself and Sing Myself.”

It got me to thinking about celebrating and singing myself, and how many of my family and friends have inspired me and guided me to look for and feel the positive in life. I learned from them that we should celebrate ourselves regardless of what is happening in our lives…sometimes in spite of what is happening. No matter what the circumstances, no matter how easy or difficult the experiences, it is all worthy of celebration. Life is just life and life is good! I celebrate myself and sing myself.

The tune of my very own song is a joyful one, full of laughter and mystery. The people in my life surround me with love and I face my challenges with competence and confidence. I’m secure in the knowledge that failure holds the promise of true and pure learning. Oh yes! Lots of that!

I have a big, round life. Just when I think it’s going nowhere, it circles around and makes a satisfying a tie-in to its previous self. This is not a life that is going in circles though; it is a life in full circle, made of valuable, interesting and sometimes happy connections. 

Mine is certainly a life worthy of celebration. And in addition to the inspiration from family and friends, I owe a lot of my energy for perseverance to nature. Those palm trees and other plants that, not only survived the hurricane a few years ago, but are going strong, growing new branches and hanging in there, are great mentors telling us, “Don’t let life’s storms get you down.” Consequently, I think it wise to stand with our shoulders back and our heads held high. Let’s greet each day with a happy dance. Gloom is for cowards. At least that’s what I keep telling myself.

It’s easy to let difficulties get us down. The heroes are the ones who say, “Okay, bring it on! I can handle this!”

Somewhere inside each of us is a place we can retreat, be still, and listen to our own hearts. Then we can muster the necessary tools to dance with whatever life presents. Oh, and it might help to ask for help when we need it, to hold each other’s hands, and to listen to each other.

In a Book

Books bound by fragile wrinkled hands
Or joined by man's devices
How little it may matter to a reader
Aching only for a sweet taste of wisdom
Lines fill with letters meant to squeeze
And ring their finest colors
Hear the soft, faint sounds of solitary breath
Collected vapors singing--in a book

---Susan Farrar 2009

Perfectionism

Perfectionism is the enemy of change. 

Expectations of perfection are assumptions anyway.

The bar is set too high.

Why not rest?

Why not opt for fun? 

Stop thinking about: 

Who you should be. 

What you should be. 

How you should be. 

Perfectionism is the enemy of living in harmony with ourselves and others. 

Choose a different perspective. 

See the beauty in imperfection.

Take a walk on the wild side.

Dream a way into a bright new journey.

Now gives way to later.

Later is never too late.

Imperfection is a paint stain on my shirt.

Getting that stain was so much fun.

Use your Words

Often I hear young parents telling their children, “Use your words.” What wonderful direction.

They must be implying that those “grunts and whines,” and other such noises that often come from the mouths of babes (as they point at something they want), just won’t get it.

We can tell each other to use our words, but remember, words are important. Use just the right ones.

Today I’m telling you to play, sing, and dance your words.

Playing with Words:

Crystalline, or Transparent?

Visceral or Primitive?

Singing with Words:

Caprice or Quirk?

Insouciant or Carefree?

Dancing  with Words:

Spellbound or Mesmerized?

Eccentric or Peculiar?

 

Pictures may be worth a thousand words, but when it is time to use them, make them count.

I couldn’t have said it better myself.

 

Grandma Memories are the Best

When I was three years old, my grandpa died. I don’t remember him, except for what Mom has told me about him. She says her dad was a boilermaker, had a wooden leg, and regardless of that, he danced and he played the harmonica. I know a lot about my grandma though.

Ethel and Walter on their wedding day. She was 16 years old.

When I was almost five years old my grandma came to live with us. She was supposed to take care of my brother and me, and she did, but she also did EVERYTHING else in our home. She was the best cook ever and she let me “help” her in the kitchen.

Even though Grams only got through the 8th grade in school, I learned a lot from her. She read to me before I could read myself, and then she listened to me when I was learning to read. Dick and Jane was my first reader. If you’ve ever sat with a beginning reader, you know it can be a bit painful. She had the patience of a saint.

Using flash cards, Grandma helped me learn my math facts and every week we worked on my spelling words. Her diligence meant that I got 100% every time. Grandma never tired of being my study buddy. She also taught me the finer points of cursive writing.

They don’t teach cursive anymore, do they?

 

Me, Grandma Ethel, and my brother Ronnie

For special times, she and I took the bus, a block from our house, to downtown San Diego. Sometimes we’d go to movies, or go shopping at Walker Scott. (Gone now, but not forgotten.) But we always went out to lunch at the US Grant Hotel where they served the best banana splits, as my memory serves.

I either ordered a grilled cheese with hot cocoa, or fried shrimp and hot cocoa. But it is the dessert I remember so well. I can still see the three scoops of vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry ice cream scooped alongside bananas in the banana-shaped bowl, heaped with three sauces (hot fudge, marshmallow, and butterscotch) and topped with maraschino cherries, nuts and whipped cream. Oh my!

 

This is the coffee shop where Grandma and I always had lunch.

https://www.reddit.com/r/TheWayWeWere/comments/4hhdpb/coffee_shop_at_the_us_grant_hotel_1950s/

A short and sweet article (with photos) about the US Grant Hotel can be found here:

http://www.historichotelsthenandnow.com/usgrantsandiego.html

Grandma had the type of diabetes that is kept under control with diet, so she wasn’t supposed to eat banana splits. I was sworn to secrecy; not supposed to tell my mom (her daughter), but I always did. Mom never scolded either of us, but she would appeal to me to keep Grandma on the straight and narrow next time. Impossible. I loved having those banana splits.

This is the Grant Grill. It was famous for good food back then.

My grams was a Democrat because the Democrats brought in the unions, which made work life and times for people like my grandpa a whole lot better. Say what you will about unions now, back then they were saviors for the working class. I was encouraged by my grandma to vote as soon as I was legally able. She was a strong and capable woman, even though she only had an 8th grade education.

My Grandparents in the 1940s.

It is with fondness I recall when Grams held and kissed my first born son a few months before she died. She taught me so much and I remember her with big love in my heart.

I made bread today. “Thanks, Grams, for teaching me how to knead the dough and bake bread, and for all the other things you taught me.”

 

 

 

How to Devour Life–Read a Book!

In times of uncertainty about where my life may be headed, I find solace in reading. Even when I  am certain about where I’m going, what I’m trying to accomplish, how I should proceed, I use much of my time daily sitting with my face in a book. I want to taste all that life has to offer. Books help me to do this.  Maybe my poem will give a better understanding of my love affair with bookstores and books.

 

In a Book

Blaring from the shop’s façade

A neon sign claims “OPEN”

Step in here; please search the

Shelves that cradle books for you

Revisit pain; life’s pride and purpose

Devour pages one-by-one

Eat words slowly—as you wish

Satisfy your long-held search for meaning

Books bound by fragile, wrinkled hands

Or joined by man’s devices

How little it may matter to a reader

Aching only for a sweet taste of wisdom

Lines fill with letters meant to squeeze

And ring their finest colors

Hear the soft, faint sounds of solitary breath

Collected vapors singing— in a book

Yesterday I finished reading Alice Hoffman’s The Story Sisters that came out in 2009. What took me so long? Hoffman’s writing is superb, and I am a big fan of her novels. This one did not disappoint. It’s more than a thematic story about navigating motherhood, sisterhood, and daughterhood, and I got so caught up in their lives I am sad to have finished the book.

 

That happens to me a lot. I find myself missing the characters when the story comes to an end. This is one of the things I consider magical about reading. But I don’t solely consume novels.

Alice Hoffman website: http://alicehoffman.com

I recently read A Higher Loyalty: Truth, Lies, and Leadership by the former director of the FBI, James Comey. Aside from being defensive and somewhat self-serving about how he came to his decision to disclose that the FBI was reviewing more Hillary Clinton emails 11 days before the presidential election,  it is full of details about the time Comey was a career prosecutor helping to dismantle the Gambino crime family. He deftly makes the analogy between the Mafia bosses and our current president.

What does it mean to be an ethical leader? This kind of leadership is what drives sound decisions.  Comey admits his faults and failures, and discusses painful events in his personal life (his son Collin died from strep infection at 9 days old in 1995.) as well as his professional life– his role as FBI director,  his service as U.S. attorney for the Southern District of New York, and as the U.S. deputy attorney general in the administration of President George W. Bush. His is an enlightening book that helped me understand Comey as a man, and how being an ethical leader is more important than ever.

Here’s a short bio of James Comey from the internet: https://www.biography.com/people/james-comey-051217

I’m never without a book. I usually pack one in my purse when I go out, just in case I have a minute for reading. How about you?

Here’s the advice I always gave my students once upon a time:

Never judge a book by its movie.

 

Sing Along–The Russian Connection

I’m learning The Rainbow Connection for the ukulele and I keep hearing different words. Want to Sing Along with Kermit and me? Just click on the link and sing with my words. Have fun.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=awhyiBv-oQc

The Russian Connection 

Why are there so many stories about Potus, how he’s on the Russian side?

He says they’re visions, about his collusion, and how he has nothing to hide.

So we’ve been told, and some chose to believe it but I know they’re wrong wait and see.

Someday we’ll find it, the Russian Connection—Mueller, the FBI and me.

Who says that every lie, would be heard and answered

When heard on the twitter site?

Potus has thought of that, and some will believe it

But look what it’s done so far.

What’s so amazing is he keeps denying, what does he think we might see?

Someday we’ll find it: That Russian Connection, Mueller, the FBI, and me.

All of us under this spell, we know that it’s probably tragic.

Have you been fast asleep or have you heard voices,

I hear them calling his name, 

Is this the sad truth that calls the young voters, 

The truth that is one and the same 

We’ve heard it too many times to  ignore it, 

it’s something that we’re supposed to know

Someday we’ll find it—The Russian Connection…Mueller, the FBI and me

La da da   dee da da    doo

La    la da da   da dee da   doo

(Okay, I can’t help myself).

When Push Comes to Shove

This idiomatic phrase has been rolling around in my head for awhile and my attention has been focused on precise distinctions. Is there a subtle difference between a push and a shove? When things get critical, and there is an urgency, does a push then become a shove?

 

I had a professor at the University of Washington that insisted there are no synonyms. Each word has its own special essence and I believe these two words prove his point. ‘Shove’ seems more aggressive, doesn’t it?

Recently, I had my push/shove moment. The political climate in the USA is horrendous. My heart breaks constantly over the unabashed way our leaders disrespect humans. Not just the immigrants who are coming in search of asylum, but its own citizens. If you happen to be a person of color, or if you are not straight, white, and male, or enjoy a good financial status, then you are often treated unfairly.

The actions taken by the current government officials that hurt democracy, harm others in the world, and negatively impact our planet’s environment will take years to reverse. The bigotry shown by #45 and his ilk hurts all of us. America is no longer the country to which I feel connected.

I became so incensed I had to quit Facebook because I couldn’t stop emotionally reacting to all the political posts. I was horrified by posts from friends, or their responses to others’ posts, that showed them to be people I don’t even want to know. How can ANYONE say that #45 is a Christian? I can think of a lot of descriptors of him, and Christian certainly is not one of them. He lacks integrity, intelligence, moral fiber, and the ability to think critically as evidenced by his lies, executive orders, and his choices for cabinet members.

But it is the issue of gun control that changes everything for me. I find myself losing control of my emotions when I see how many  people find no reason to even discuss gun control. Gun control is not a valid issue to them.

It isn’t healthy to get so wound up. I deactivated my Facebook account. Now I pick and choose what to read. I am surrounding myself with books that make me think, help me become a better person. I am immersing myself in painting, music, and beach walks. I spend time with people who care about others, and people who believe in protecting rights, but don’t see owning an AR15 as a right anyone has.

I will continue to vote, to uphold my values, be part of my community, and do things to help others in big and small ways. But I won’t be sucked into being part of poisonous rhetoric. I am choosing to look for positive ways to impact my world. The actions I want to take will be of a supportive, encouraging nature to those I encounter. I will be better able to share with enthusiasm now because I am not constantly aching inside, being reminded of the evil nature that seems to be thriving in America right now.

You may see my withdrawal as cowardly. But I see it as simply realizing my limitations. I’m refusing to be bombarded with what kills my spirit.  Push has come to shove.

I just learned to play Amazing Grace on the ukulele. I finished another colorful painting of a doorway. I took my dog for a walk, my husband and I had a great conversation with our neighbors, and I started a new book. I’m filling my life with love and happiness.

 

My most recent attempt with acrylic.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What am I?

above the clouds

 

I spread my wings to catch the updraft. Soaring higher at this vantage point I spy fish who seem to be waiting for me to pluck them from their watery world. I swoop lower now and with one smooth pass that tasty prize is mine. Throwing my head back I swallow.

This happy day brings a bounty of surprises.

What is it like to be me?

I feel the wind on my face as I float to my next stop. You probably feel a little jealous, don’t you? You wish you could fly; fly with the help of your wings and go up as high as the mountain on your horizon.

Like I do.

Never give up. It can all be yours if you practice the right moves. Open up. Feel the power of the cool breeze as it lifts you. The aerodynamics might seem tricky at first, but if I can do it, so can you.

I’m never lonely flying above the earth looking down at all the commotion that I cannot hear. It’s a little chilly up here sometimes, but that’s what feathers are for. I have a nice down coat to keep me warm as I fly higher, gliding on the ethers going above the clouds.  Free. Alone. Thinking only of my heartbeat and the sound of my breath.

I make my way to wherever I want to go.

Once more I spread my wings to catch the draft of air that helps me reach the highest tree on the mountain top. From my perch the view is long and wide.

In this life of my design there are no limits.

Oh, but I feel your skepticism because you believe in limits. You are proud to be a realist. For you, things are the way they are.

Not for me though. For you see I am a modern day Don Quixote.

I am a dreamer.

And nothing gets in the way of a dreamer. Because for a dreamer there are no limits. Ever.

 

2-11-16 green flash

 

 

I AM

I AM

 

A friend of mine posted “I AM” on Facebook today.

It got me to thinking about what I am, but more importantly,

what I want to be.

How we see ourselves is important, no doubt. I’m no philosopher. Not even close. So I’m not going to get all philosophical on you. I do believe that we can create ourselves. We have options. I do love options.

What am I? Just like you, I am many things. Just like you, I may not always like the “me”I am in a given moment.

Two days ago I was angry with a capital A. Pissed off is more like it. Hurt. Confused. Disillusioned. I don’t want those things to define me.

So what does define me? Right now I think I would like to see myself as transforming, vivacious and strong.

I think I’ll choose those three things for my mantra today.

I am transforming, vivacious and strong.

Who knows what I’ll choose tomorrow.

The key is to choose wisely.

You have to catch the ball before you can throw it.

This can be a metaphor for life, even though it pertains to baseball. Don’t put the cart before the horse, don’t count your chickens…blah, blah, blah.

Timing is everything and while I’ve known this for a long while, today I was given a smack upside my head as a nice little reminder.

The story: We sold our beautiful VW van to a friend. She said she wanted it. We trusted that she did. On her word we felt it was a done deal and we considered it sold. She drove it, we showed her everything about how to care for it, gave her our bazillion extra parts, and she was excited. She went home with the plan to get us our down payment by tomorrow (Tuesday) and we would keep the car till it was paid for.

At this point, I deleted the ads I’d run and told two other prospective buyers that it was sold. A gentleman in Seattle had offered to buy the van for its full asking price, as well as give us $1,000 more if we delivered it to San Diego, but yesterday I told him we had it sold. So sorry, I told him.

We bought another vehicle for $10,000 with the idea that we had sold the van. We’re all set now, right?

Apparently not. Our friend, who will remain nameless, just called and said she changed her mind. “It’s just not a good idea for me right now,” she tells me.

“What? What?” I exclaim. “I already told the other people it was sold.”

“I know, I’m sorry. But I couldn’t sleep last night and I don’t think this is a good idea for me right now.”

You have to catch the ball before you can throw the ball. Don’t put the cart before the horse and don’t count your chickens until they hatch.

Don’t buy a new car until you have the money for the one you sold.

And don’t trust ANYBODY.

wtf

 

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I don’t want to be bitter. So I’ll work at getting over it. In the meantime, I have learned:

the-best-way-to-avoid-disappointment