My obsession with the English language is a form of obsessive compulsive disorder. That’s what my girlfriend, Donna, recently told me. I’ve heard that before.

Is it my fault that I get upset when people say things like, “I seen that,” or “There wasn’t much people there,” or how about when someone writes, “Your a happy person.” That one really gets me. I find myself yelling, “It’s the contraction you want, YOU’RE, not the possessive pronoun, YOUR.”

Oh, and guess what? A lot =two words. It isn’t alot. Is it a lot to ask that you write it as two words? I used to ask my students, “Do you write a little as one word?”

The English language is a living language, so the common practices sometimes find their way into our lexicon. I predict that in my lifetime, the two words a lot, when used to mean a great number, will be acceptable written as a single word. I will have to get over it. Let it go. Oh heaven forbid.

Don’t get me wrong. I make plenty of errors. Big mistakes and itsy bitsy ones too. (That’s too as in also or excessive…not to, the preposition as in I went to the park).

People look at me funny when I tell them that I actually read the dictionary. I start to look up a word, and something on the page catches my eye and I start reading. Don’t you do that? One day I was looking up a word I didn’t know (there are many of those), and I read the definition for moot. What an eye-opener. I will bet you a million dollars that 99 of 100 people use that word incorrectly.

Moot

Contrary to common misuse, “moot” doesn’t imply something is superfluous. It means a subject is disputable or open to discussion. e.g., The idea that commercial zoning should be allowed in the residential neighborhood was a moot point for the council.

Here’s a test for you:

Correct? Incorrect?

Everybody must bring their own lunch to the meeting.

As an English teacher I spent hours reading my students’ writing and using my green, blue, or purple pen (red gets a bad rap) to give them feedback. It was the worst part of my job. It was my responsibility to actually teach these wonderful children how to communicate in writing, do it well, pass the WA State assessment of writing, and move on into the world with a sharpened pencil. It was my job to find mistakes and help my students not to make them. I took my responsibility seriously. Just ask them.

Okay, back to your test. If the subject is singular, the pronoun, to which it refers, must be singular.

 EVERYBODY is singular. That, in itself, may be news to you. But it is singular. Consequently, the correct way to write this is:

Everybody must bring his or her own lunch to the meeting. 

It sounds a bit awkward, with “his or her,” but it is correct. I suggest you find another way to get that information across so as to avoid having to use his or her. How about a simple, straightforward directive, “Bring your own lunch to the meeting.”

You can only imagine how much fun it was to be fifteen, in my sophomore English class, and having to put up with me constantly going on about such matters. Teen-agers spend a lot of time thinking about themselves–how they look in the mirror, how they look to each other, when is the next party, who will be at the next party, who likes them, who doesn’t like them, among many other things. Using good conventions in writing isn’t high on their list of things to think about. I had to be sneaky and creative.

For example, PUNCTUATION DOES MAKE A DIFFERENCE:

WOMAN WITHOUT HER MAN IS NOTHING.

or

WOMAN, WITHOUT HER, MAN IS NOTHING.

You see how two commas make such a big difference?

Writing well isn’t merely mastering the WRITING CONVENTIONS; there are a lot of other issues. The use of proper grammar, punctuation, spelling, and word usage are only a small part of what it takes to become a good writer. But I’m not going into the rest of it right now. Maybe another day.

Don’t think I can’t hear you sighing with relief.